F the Desk

Raise your hand if you have any of the following in your closet, cubby, or hidey hole:

Useless shit.

Old shit.

Shit from old boyfriends/girlfriends.

Expensive shit you don’t use but won’t give up.

Shit you don’t need.

Shit you don’t wear.

Shit that’s not even yours and you don’t know how it got there.

OK.

If you agree this stuff weighs you down, let’s get rid of it.

Not that long ago I got rid of 75% of my possessions.

That’s a little drastic for most people, but try it on a small scale and the same principles apply. Look in your desk drawer, or a cluttered closet. You’re going to feel even better and lighter than those weird Groupons for colinic irrigation promise.

Not that I know.

Here we go.

First, crack a beer and put on some music. Throw out the obvious garbage, and take a good long look at what you’ve got. Decide on a goal. Want 3/4 of the stuff? Half? 1/4? Only what will fit in a backpack? Commit to your goal and always make decisions that get you closer to it.

Next, get yourself a big garbage bag or bins for stuff to chuck/donate/sell/give away.

And begin.

Be ruthless.

It’s going to be tough. Here are some common roadblocks I came across:

But I might wear that later!

No you won’t. Get rid of it.

But that has sentimental value!

It’s only as valuable as how happy it makes you. Does it make you really happy? No? Get rid of it.

But I’ll fix that and use it!

It broke a year ago. Stop lying and get rid of it.

But I spent a lot of money on that!

If you don’t really use it, keeping it around does not justify your poor spending decision. Sell it for less and buy something you’ll love. Or let someone else use it. Get rid of it.

But what if I need that later?

What if a shark grew legs and rang your doorbell and ate you? Get rid of it.

But (someone intimidating) would kill me if I got rid of that!

They’re not looking right now. Get rid of it.

But that’s my ex girlfriend’s!

She’s a jerk. (Plus, don’t you want a nice NEW girlfriend?) Get rid of it.

But I made that in gradeschool!

Yeah, your small hand turkey is cute. I lied. Give it to your mom or get rid of it.

But I’ve had that forever!

Exactly. Get rid of it.

But… but… but…

If you haven’t used it this year, if you’re not going to use it this year, if you haven’t looked at it lately, or if it doesn’t make you happy, get-the-fuck-rid of it.

Phew!

A few garbage bags, a garage sale, and/or a trip to Goodwill later, you’ll feel awesome. I promise.

The accumulation of crap in our homes, desks, and minds often makes us feel secure. Our STUFF roots us to something real, proves we’ve lived or earned a paycheque, and feels familiar.

Ever wonder what it would be like if it was just gone? Would you freak out, or feel free?

Think about it. Or, whatever, just watch this clip of George Carlin.