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May 23 2012
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Desk F@%kers

DESK F@%KER: CHRIS TRIPODI

One of the greatest things that happens to me with this blog is people saying “Oh! You have to talk to this guy!”

And then I get to chat with someone so awesomely inspiring. Someone I would never have otherwise had the chance to connect with.

This this guy is Chris Tripodi. He loved his desk and F’d it anyway.

Chris was working at a workplace he loved, in a career he was passionate about, and left to go travel the world because things lined up in a rare and perfect window of opportunity that was going to vanish if he didn’t jump through it.

If you ever see a window like this, break the glass. Whether you like what you’re doing or not, sometimes something comes up that you know you want more. Grab it.

Chris did.

He’s been in 6 continents, 66 countries and done 108 border crossings in 2 years with no regrets. And now that he’s back, he has a job where he gets sent around the world to lead tours of the most gorgeous places on earth. F@%K.

“I now have enough concrete evidence that if you head in the general direction of what you want, and don’t give up, and work hard, you will get something as good or better than you hoped for. Actuallly, I don’t know that anyone will for sure. That’s the thing, life is pretty unpredictable. Maybe you’ll get hit by a car and no matter how hard you work, it’s over. But onto more happy thoughts… “

Lately I’ve been digging the fact that life is short and unpredictable. Kinda makes you want to get more out of the now, doesn’t it?

That’s nothing really new.

But I guess the difference between wanting to get more out of the now, and getting more out of it, is tuning into that little inner voice that guides you and tells you to do fun, risky stuff.

Not the one about choking your neighbour’s dog. The one that talks about travelling, quitting, getting the girl, taking a chance, taking a class, trying a sport, jumping out of the plane, calling that meeting, saying your piece, doing the workout, opening a business, reaching out, pushing yourself, playing the big show, or whatever it is that calls to you, and listening to it when there are a bazillions reasons not to.

There are always more reasons to not do those things that scare us.

But those (fewer) reasons to take a chance yield a bigger pay off than sitting still.

Obvious, right? But how many people do we know who actually live it?

What I really like about Chris is, even though I haven’t met him yet to hear it in person, his story and the way he tells it is alive with an appreciation for seizing the moment, squeezing the best out of life, and then moving swiftly and easily into the next experience. No big deal.

Here’s what he was doing before he took off.

He had a great job at Universal Music. Not only was he happy there, he considered it his dream job.

“When I did actually tell my boss I was leaving…quitting… I asked him if there was any way the company could get the money back from me that they paid me for the previous 12 years. He looked confused, and said No. I told him ‘that’s good, because I would have done it for free.’”

Leading up to leaving, Chris was piling up his vacation days and using them to get out of the country. First, once a year. Then two. Then four a year.

“My list grew to the point that if I continued going to 2-3 places a year, I would need to live to 110 years old before I would complete the list, assuming I didn’t add anywhere else to it.”

So he quit and saw the world.

And I love this bit — for those 2 years of travel, whenever someone asked him “What are you going to do when you go back?” he answered “Who cares?”

I hear it’s one of the most annoying questions you can ask a long-term traveller. But according to Chris:

“It was as if I was just arriving to a dinner party and someone was asking what I was going to eat next week. It didn’t matter, and I had no clue whatsoever, and I spent ZERO time thinking about it.”

Eventually the time came to come back. After 2 years of experiencing new places, people, and food around the globe, he came back, got reacquainted with his friends, and started looking for something to do. But he wouldn’t take just any job. In fact, he says he turned down more jobs than he applied for.

“I was looking for something inspiring, and something that would allow me to keep travelling.”

And he got his wish. After a few months he landed a gig at Adventures Abroad that pays him to take small groups of people to any of 120 amazing countries across the world.

“No question about it, I consider myself lucky. And without a doubt, I know I wouldn’t be lucky if I didn’t jump at the little window of time I had years ago to leave something I loved for something I was passionate about.”

How inspiring is that?!

After he shared his story with me I had a few more questions. Here they are in rapid fire:

HOW DID YOU KNOW THIS WAS YOUR ONE WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY?

Easy… I was one kid, one house, one injury, and one family crises away from not ever doing it. So I did it.

WERE YOU ALWAYS THE TYPE TO SAY “WHO CARES?” IF THERE WAS ANY QUESTION OR DOUBT ABOUT WHAT YOU WERE DOING?

I wish I was. But it was my honest answer to a natural question, I just wanted to enjoy each moment.

HOW ON EARTH DID YOU SEE SO MUCH IN SO LITTLE TIME?

Two weeks per country on average, but I just reminded myself that each day here meant a day less somewhere else as I had only so much money in my travel fund. I tried to get the essence of a place, and moved on before too many people knew my name.

IF YOU DIDN’T PLAN WHERE YOU WERE GOING, DID YOU JUST FOLLOW YOUR HEART? OR OTHER TRAVELLERS?

Heart. And gut. And a few pretty travellers.

WHAT WAS THE BEST DAY?

Always the next day.

WHAT WAS THE BIGGEST SURPRISE?

How easy it was.

WHAT WAS THE TOUGHEST THING ABOUT YOUR JOURNEY?

Saying goodbye over and over.

WHAT WOULD YOU TELL OTHER PEOPLE WHO KNOW THEY WANT TO TRAVEL?

Go when you can. It is easier than you fear and better than you could ever imagine.

———–

So the moral of the story is I should go realize my dream to pet elephant trunks abroad.

Let’s get on that.

What’s your little voice telling you to do?

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Apr 26 2012
2 Comments
Desk F@%kers

DESK F@%KER: NIKKI ASHWORTH

You don’t need to leave your desk to F it.

I know a lovely girl with a big dream and a great band and she’s right in the middle of establishing her dream in the evenings while working away at work in the days.

She’s given me a great view into that impossibly big place in the heart where passion and dreams come from.

Photo: Nikki Ashworth

Nikki Ashworth doesn’t have memories before music. She’s been singing since as far back as she can remember.

I picture the delivery room breaking out in a chorus of Let’s Dance with her the moment she was born.

In highschool, her and her piano playing friend made a band. “If you can call it that,” she says. They’d practice away in her basement and did the highschool talent show.

The non-band was called “This Side Up”, or sometimes “Viewers Like You”. Given her thought process behind naming bands with common phrases, it makes sense that her now-band is The Jilted Lovers Club.

Photo: Adam Currie

“I always wanted this. Always. And even when I was in university, even when I was in high school, it was always in the back of my head that I’ll be in a band.”

She didn’t want to go solo. She didn’t want to be Nikki and the Somethings. She wanted to perform with a band.

It wasn’t easy finding one. But was determined.

She searched and tried  and tried again right throughout university to no avail.

“There were many times when I would think I was joke, or I was just kidding myself, and why should I bother.”

I never really thought about it before, but I guess it’s a lot easier to bring out a guitar and jam than approach musicians and be like “Hey, can I sing with you?”

Photo: Mike Binelli @ Woah! Music

While most musicians tend to organically find people to collaborate with, Nikki put a band together from scratch, with Craigslist.

She got rejection after rejection.

“One guy even told me my voice was unrecordable.”

When things did work, they fizzled out. But false leads, wasted time, and even put-downs couldn’t kill her dream.

It broke her down, but never enough to beat the inextinguishable voice inside her telling her she had to perform. This was part of her identity she was born to realize — combined with the rising sense of suffocation in a 9-5 job, it’s no wonder she wouldn’t quit trying to find her band.

“You know, some people know they want a child. They might not be ready yet, but they know they will become a parent. It’s in their core, and in their heart, and in their chest, and they have that gut feeling: ‘I will have a child’. That’s how I felt with the band, which is kind of silly, but it was just always gnawing at me that I wasn’t complete.”

I’m amazed by her determination and her certainty that this is what she’s meant to do. Her drive to perform got put through the wringer before she even got on stage.

Fast forward a few years, through a ton of hard work, and we have The Jilted Lovers Club (est. 2009).

They’ve been playing venues all around the city — sometimes a super late night weeknight slot at a small club, sometimes a prime-o weekend evening at The Horeshoe or Rivoli.

During the day you’ll find Nikki working in TV, and in the evenings rehearsing, managing, and playing shows.

Her vision of success? To pay her bills with music.

The attitude that will get her there would do us all some good, whatever we’re going for:

“The main difference between someone who actually made it and someone who did not, is that the person who made it kept going. The person who made it never gave up. There might have been luck and other factors involved that you cannot control, but the one thing you can control is your drive.”

Luck’s a lot of it. But the longer you persist the more chances you get to get lucky.

What about her critics?

“I try to focus on the people who do like what I’m doing, rather than the people who don’t.”

And her fears?

“For me the real failure would be not trying, and I’m not going to let myself down that way.”

She describes herself as not very strong, but I’m going to tell her next time I see her that she’s very full of poopski.

My favourite part of the whole interview, even more than conducting it with one of her three cats in my lap, was when I asked her what it feels like when she’s doing her favourite thing — performing. What does she feel when she’s on stage with a microphone in her hand?

Photo: Me! Yeah!

She looks at me with a super smile, and says softly and straight from her heart:

“Just happy. There’s nothing else.”

Check out The Jilted Lovers Club on Facebook, Twitter, and at their website.

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Apr 20 2012
14 Comments
Desk F@%kers

DESK F@%KERS: KEVIN & TOM

Think you can’t have a family AND a full time job AND launch your dream business?

I want you to meet two guys and a girl who taught me a very important point of view about balance.

Oh. And they make the best F’ing grilled cheese in the city.

Kevin Durkee is the guy on the right. That’s his daughter Taylor in the middle, and his husband Tom Douangmixay (Kevin warned me it was a triple word score in Scrabble) on the left, and they’re the owners of Cheesewerks, the city’s newest and gooiest artisan grilled cheese shop at Bathurst and Niagara.

I LOVE GRILLED CHEESE.

I mean it.

So I had to talk to Kevin about how he took this place from bare concrete to tasty utopia in less than a year. Back when I was in advertising (remember that?) I was finishing up my last days just around the corner from this place and sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for it to open up.

Now I’m deciding which way to spoil myself.

Beef Brisket?! Fuck yeah. I order a Houston.

What’s with the names on the menu anyway?

It’s more than just an easy way to understand the flavours you’ll be enjoying. There’s a story behind each one. The Houston I ordered is called a Houston because that’s the first place Kevin, Tom and Taylor vacationed together.

“So we brought those flavours, and that spice, and that excitement back. Beijing — Tom and I got married four years ago and we spent our honeymoon at the Olympics. Charleston — my parents spent a ton of time in Mertyl Beach over 15 years. We’d always go down and see them and spend a lot of time in Charleston. So all that southern charm has come into that.”

I love it. But let’s be honest, I’d still order 100 of these if they were called Grilled Poopwiches.

Look at this thing.

LOOK CLOSER!

The high-end Jalepeno Jack is the perfect melted, stretchy consistency, flavoured with their delicious BBQ sauce and brought together in a flawless tender-brisket-to-cheese ratio inside a crunchy buttery marbled sourdough.

Please, Cheesewerks, consider delivery as a viable part of your business model.

There’s also fresh and crunchy salted home made pickles and these little delights that come with it:

Mm. I’d spend a lot more time in Texas if this is indeed what Houston tastes like.

Back to the story. Turns out there’s a lot more to this place than its delicious offerings.

“Have you heard the Mom Story? No? OH! Then you’ve GOT to hear it.”

Kevin is so damn likeable and now he’s excited by what he’s about to tell me. Here it is.

One day, when Kevin was 13, his mom came home from her job as head cashier at the A&P. She had told them to take their job and shove it. That’s literally what Kevin said. I like her already.

“She turned her life around and decided to follow her passion.”

They turned their basement into an industrial kitchen where she became an artisan baker before advertising people invented that word and put it in front of other words. Pies, baked goods, muffins, squares, cookies — she made it all and Kevin was her wee sous chef. After a few years, she opened “The Courtyard Tea Room” in Perth and ran it joyously for 18 seasons. Cottage goers, locals, and families passing through returned again and again to visit Audrey. She retired in 2005, was diagnosed with lung cancer two years later, and passed away a short 45 days after that.

Keven and Tom were together at the time, Taylor was 4, and that’s when the idea for Cheesewerks began. Kevin was in advertising/marketing/creative licensing and Tom was working in the world wide web. They were making so much money for other brands, so why not create one of their own?

“And I’m totally a momma’s boy. Always have been, always will be. So she defined me. And obviously we had a young lady who we wanted to make as independent and as strong as possible. So we were like, why don’t we put together a family plan for her?”

Then he directs my attention to a beautiful painting on the wall.

It’s an oil painting of his mom’s shop that his dad had commissioned. Kevin acquired it after she passed away, and it’s been up there since they began this labour of love. I’d venture to say she’d be really, really proud.

They’ve created something here that isn’t just about grilled cheese.

It’s not just about the cheese, even.

Sure, there’s cheese fondue, mac & cheese, cheese and wine pairings, cheeseboards, and a selection of fantastic cheeses to take home.

But there’s also an atmosphere here. One you want to hang out in. They have board games, and a big screen TV, and Oscars parties. Every Sunday they make something totally unique for “Kitchen Sink Sundays”, like Nutella-Banana French Toast, and tease their Facebook fanbase with pictures. They have cool local beers and wines and home made sodas, and I visited just in time to see what they did with a 26-pound chocolate bunny they’d won in a contest.

What they’re doing is phenomenal: brilliant small business cross promotion, presence at events, shout outs to their fans, involvement in the community, meet-the-maker nights, special deals, and an overall bang up job utilizing social media to engage their customers and make new friends.

But most of all, they have an incredible attitude that shines through everything they do.

Here’s what I’ve gained from Kevin, aside from a few pounds:

1. Give new stuff a chance.

They champion Canadian products — everything in there is 100% Canadian — and they want you to try new things and discover stuff with them. This means championing local wines, hosting meet and greets with the people who make the cheese, selling newly discovered accompaniments, and lining up all the staff one day with coffees to show them how to do a Tim Tam Slam just because one of them didn’t know what it is.

2. Do your homework.

Want to open a business you’re passionate about? Kevin’s advice: do the homework. Take more time to research and plan than you think. Make sure it’s really your passion. Then leave it alone for a while. If you don’t take breaks, you’ll burn yourself out by the time you launch.

3. Stay flexible.

Ok, so you planned everything out. A LOT. Now be ready to change it all. Cheesewerk’s menu is the perfect example. They made everything up themselves, hosted a tasting event, put a lot of thought into each item, and changed it all around 2 weeks in. You have to be actively interested in feedback and adjust what you worked so hard on.

4. Work hard.

Kevin and Tom built Cheesewerks up from nothing in a bare concrete retail space. From the business plan, to the recipes, to the marketing, and absolutely everything else in between — like Kevin baking easter cookies all of that morning — these guys do it all.

5. Let go.

Although this business is their baby, Kevin, Tom, and Taylor have taken 2 vacations since they opened 4 months ago.

“People are like, you have a restaurant and you have time off? If the restaurant doesn’t live on its own, we’ll NEVER have time off. Right? And it’s no different than how we raise Taylor.”

In other words, take some responsibility and know when to let go of being in control. Don’t let something consume you, not even your passions. Whether it’s your business, your kid, your relationship — you need balance, and it starts with your attitude.

Don’t think you can have a life with a kid?

“You know what? Strap the kid in a backpack, throw them on your chest, and just walk out the door. Deal with it! So you have a kid. It’s okay!”

I LOVE his attitude as much as his grilled cheese.

As for their wonderful little girl Taylor, it was her birthday last weekend. She told me she didn’t want any toys — she wanted something she could use. Like a nice duvet.

And for her birthday dinner, here’s what she gave her dad when he asked her what she wanted:

She’s 9.

9! I didn’t know what sashimi was until I was 20.

What a wonderful, bubbly, smart little foodie they’ve raised!

So they have a brand new dream restaurant, take vacations together, are raising a fantastic young woman, and what else?

Oh yeah. Both Tom and Kevin still work full time at their other careers.

And that, my friends, whipped my ass with a lesson on balance. What’s your excuse for not starting on your dream?

Follow Cheesewerks on Twitter and Facebook and visit their website for special promos and more.
—
BONUS!
Before I left, Kevin asked me: What kind of cheese do you coax a bear out of a cave with?
Be one of the first 10 to answer correctly and I’ll take you to Cheesewerks and buy you a sammich :)
Winner announced next week!

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Apr 05 2012
8 Comments
Desk F@%kers

DESK F@%KER: LAWRENCE LeVOIR

Ever see someone who’s really happy doing what they do?

Not creepy happy.

Not kiss-your-ass-pleasant.

I mean truly, authentically… happy.

Just in time, on the heels of learning how you can’t learn your purpose until you learn to be authentic, I spotted Lawrence LeVoir grooming a really cute dog in his store window on Queen Street, and when he caught me smiling at him he smiled back with the most authentic smile as he clipped away.

“Wow! That guy’s sooo happy!” I thought. Good god it’s contagious. The material I’ve been reading lately encouraged me to notice when I see someone undeniably congruent like that. So I couldn’t shake it. I loved it. It turned into a sparkly magic in my heart and on my way back down the street I popped in and met someone new.

Where did his passion for dog grooming start?

His mom was an English teacher, his dad was a barber, and together they opened the first academy of dog grooming in Minnesota where Lawrence grew up learning how to groom and show dogs.

The family bred standard poodles, and I can tell it left a soft spot in Lawrence’s heart. As we’re talking, this most gorgeously coiffured standard poodle walks in and I swear he’s swinging his hip poofs and looking at me coyly from under his bouffant. It’s Joker, the prize-winning poodle.

Lawrence shows me the ribbons he just won and photos of him meeting Rick Mercer.

If I were that dog, I’d sashay like that too.

In his past life, Lawrence was in the salon biz. Not clipping away at human clients like I first pictured in my head when he told me, but the corporate, directing, training, managing, and number crunching side of things. It was only recently that he followed his heart (literally) up to Canada to marry his partner and return to working with dogs.

After impressing clients as a groomer at Timmie’s Doggie Outfitters for a while, he decided to strike out on his own and open his own dog grooming business in the windows at 215 Queen Street East.

It’s no surprise when he says he doesn’t need advertising.

What makes him so happy doing this?

“There’s a combination of things. It’s nice to do things that I identify with, which is to take really good care of the families and clients I work for, to work with dogs (which are pure love), and to work with my hands.”

Was he scared when he decided to open shop?

“No, it was great! It was perfect. I like grooming in the window with people walking by. That’s the best piece of it. A lot of other people groom in the back of a store, and I have all these people walk by giving me thumbs up… And the dogs are happy to watch the squirrels.”

Seriously, walk by any time during the day and you’ll see Lawrence, his apprentice, and two happy dogs looking right back at you.

Right now he’s expertly grooming Jack and his apprentice is working on Bella, a Doodle who paws at my leg when I’m not noticing her enough. Lawrence sees these dogs as his friends. Like clients of his that he’s known for years.

And who wouldn’t want a creative job with fluffy clients?

On the topic of authenticity, Lawrence tells me he’s so glad I caught that vibe from him when I walked by. He was just watching Stedman, “Oprah’s… bitch”, he laughs. His new book is apparently about how your happiness in life hinges on knowing your identity. He couldn’t agree with it more. Maybe I should read Stedman’s book.

For those who are on the path to finding and following their passion, Lawrence’s biggest piece of advice is to take a risk:

“If there’s something you want to do, try it. Chances are you’re going to be good at it. Chances are you’re going to do it better than other people who are doing it because you’re doing what you love to do, and you’re going to be happy doing it. And if you’re happy doing something, no matter what — people will notice because they want to be around people who are happy with what they’re doing. So take a risk.”

It seems so simple, doesn’t it. So, what makes you happiest?

Check out Grooming By Lawrence!

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Mar 23 2012
1 Comment
Desk F@%kers Image

DESK F@%KER: TERENCE JOU

It’s Friday and it’s raining and I’m sitting at the cafe next door thinking about Terence Jou.

He’s the account guy who had a revelation on a Friday and quit to travel the world on the Monday.

What’s he doing now?

Then I see it on Facebook. From somewhere in Taipei Terence posts about season 4 of Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Ha!

What happened and what did it take to just quit and travel?

It might look impulsive to those who found out when he resigned, but his U-Turn didn’t happen over night. Like most great, scary, life-changing thoughts, the idea took time to break through all the excuses. After two years contemplating it:

“I was tired of what I was doing and we hadn’t even reached Blue Monday, the third Monday of January where depression reigns over the population (look it up on Wikipedia). It was a combination of all aspects of my job – tough feedback from some people I work with, the monotonous nature of what account management work is all about and a general sense of “Why am I working so hard? What am I really accomplishing?” resulted in a full stress-related hive breakout on my hands. So I said enough. Stop complaining about it and do something about it.”

After that particularly terrible week, something uncorked the pressure built up after years of not listening to himself and his body rebelled like it was allergic to the business. His hands swelled up like giant Pillsbury mitts. He did some deep soul searching and resigned on the Monday.

I asked what his thoughts were that weekend.

“What was going through my head was answering some really tough questions about what I wanted out of my life including:

  • If I get promoted or get a raise this year, would that make me happier (NO)
  • If I switch to another job within the company, would that make me happy (NO)
  • If I moved to another job within the same industry, would that make me happy (NO)

With that, I had no other excuses.”

Realizing he’d regret it if he didn’t take the risk, the rest seemed relatively easy. The way he looks at it:

“I’ve always been a happy person and I like to laugh a lot, but over the past five years, I’ve realized I’m growing to be an increasingly negative and pessimistic individual. Being in advertising does change you, so I’m turning my bike around and trying to adjust my course back to the happy optimistic Terence that once existed in childhood.”

So he kicked things off in Costa Rica at a wedding, stocked up on socializing, and on the 23rd anniversary of immigrating to Canada, he packed his possessions into a couple bags and went back to Taipei to start his adventure with a visit to his family.

In just a few short weeks, he’s come a long way.

Always the social butterfly, Terence is exploring way out of his comfort zone using his basic Mandarin to get around town and strike up conversations with strangers. I can only imagine him trying his ad agency-honed wit on the locals.

“One thing I have to learn is patience. I cannot possibly build a social network that I enjoyed back home in an instant here on the other side of the world. It’s hard to make friends in a strange city, but again, it’s all about asking, trying, learning and failing.”

It’s his new motto: Ask, Try, Fail, and Learn. You have to suck at something before you’re good at it. It’s uncomfortable with our addiction to instant gratification.

What keeps him going despite all that?

“What guides me is a belief that there is something else out there for me besides being a paper pusher. I am a talented, educated, thoughtful individual – whatever I put my mind to, I can do.” 

I love Terence’s story because before he left, his identity was safely hemmed in by being employed, being an account guy, and having his friends around. He’s recognized what was making him unhappy and decided to travel — not to escape, but to grow.

Well, I’m glad to see he’s growing.

Check out his blog, Terence’s Time Out.


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